Show notes
Your coach offers paid private lessons. The kids who take them seem to get the best spots. Maybe it’s a coincidence. It doesn’t feel like one.
This week Coach Bill and Stormie Brooks, the youth sports mom, take on a question from Jason in Arizona. His kid isn’t doing the coach’s private lessons, and he’s watching the players who do get more chances. Is it favoritism, pay to play, or just extra reps paying off?
In this episode:
Bill explains how a coach can favor lesson kids without ever meaning to. After hours of one on one work, a coach wants to see the payoff, and that time together can quietly shape who gets on the floor. He hopes it’s never “you pay, you play,” but he’s honest that the subconscious pull is real.
Stormie shares what she’d actually do in Jason’s shoes: ask the coach directly. Then she adds the hard caveat. Some programs punish kids when parents ask questions, and she lived it with her son, who begged her not to say anything because he was afraid it would get worse.
The two dig into the difference between “the coach hates my kid” and “the coach doesn’t see my kid,” and why that second one is usually closer to the truth.
Stormie offers a simple fix: tell the coach about the work your kid puts in away from practice. Her daughter didn’t like privates but hit the gym every day she didn’t have practice. A coach can’t reward effort they never see.
And they talk about the part parents control. You can feel offended, but how you react will either help your kid or hurt them.
This week’s takeaway: before you assume favoritism, make sure the coach knows what your kid is doing when nobody’s watching.
Got a question for Coach Bill and Stormie? Send it in. They read every one and answer from both sides of the bleachers. Send it to hey@heysammi.com or visit heysammi.com
Hey Sammi is the AI team parent for youth sports families. She reads your team calendars and texts you what you need, when you need it. No app required.
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